If your child is being bullied, we have the help you need. In this, the final instalment in our three-part series about bullying, Simon Benn is sharing how you can use his tried-and-tested strategies to increase your child’s resilience…and your own, too.
Simon knows a lot about this topic, as we learnt in part one, Stop Bullying of All Types with Simon Benn. Nothing gives him more pleasure than hearing a child tell him that other kids cannot upset them anymore—or hearing the same thing from a parent or teacher who’s learnt to bully-proof a child after working with Simon.
Simon Benn started working with kids in 2013 and found his true vocation: Inspiring kids to be happy, whilst working with their parents to make that happen.
You can immerse yourself in the entire How to Make Your Child Bully Proof Brand Builders TV episode, or read on to hear the conclusion to this series in Simon’s own words.
So together, let’s learn it, model it and get shit done. Let’s go!
Get to Know Simon Benn
When you meet Simon Benn, you’re immediately struck by his gentle nature, eagerness to help and humility concerning all the lives he’s changed for the better. As a publisher, coach, motivator and entrepreneur, Simon is showing us not only how to help bullied children, but to use what we learn along the way to direct and grow our businesses.
As an adopted child who was bullied, Simon uses his own experiences to coach parents so they can raise happy children…children who are bully-proof. He runs workshops with 8- to 11-year-olds, talking about what’s important to them and increasing their emotional intelligence so they can better understand the behaviour of those around them.
Come with us and be captivated by this final article in the bully-proofing series, written in Simon’s own words.
If Your Child is Being Bullied, Start Here
Children need to see things for themselves. This is not about what you say, it’s about what they hear. It’s not about what you point out to them, it’s what they see after you have pointed it out. This is about coaching rather than telling. It’s about questions. It’s about using questions to draw a child out of themselves. It’s about getting your child to see that it’s not their fault.
What’s going on inside the bully has determined that child’s behaviour. The bully is scared, angry, worried, having a tough time…and they’re taking that out on your child.
This is about helping your child understand human behaviour and how our feelings drive those behaviours. How our thoughts drive our feelings, and how our self-identity and view of ourselves drive our thoughts, which drive our feelings, which drive our behaviours.
This goes on inside all of us. Your child has to see that it isn’t their fault. They have to see the truth of that.
My Bullying Experience, Full Circle
Back to my story. If you haven’t read part two, How to Stop Cyberbullies and More, go there for the backstory—to read about what happened to me at scout camp.
A friend of a friend, Bob Kennedy, who lives near me, is a fan of what I do. He has a son who’s about seven or eight, and not long ago, he contacted me because he was concerned about his child.
The biggest cause of children’s unhappiness is bullying. This stuff is emotional. Building your child up to be bully-proof sets strength within them. Tech companies think cyber bullying is a tech problem, but it’s not. It’s an emotional problem, so it doesn’t matter how it’s delivered.
Bob was asking me about this, and I told him my scout story and about my patrol leader. Bob described the person, and told me he used to work with him in a kitchen. He said he was always a “nasty piece of work.”
That was the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle for me. Bob sharing that made me realise that it was never my fault. I kind of knew that, but it took that knowledge to a deeper level. That’s what the first stage of working with children is about. It’s helping them get to that deeper realisation.
When Your Child is being Bullied, Coaching is the Answer
We’re brought up to believe that knowledge is a yes or a no. I either know it or I don’t. In computer language, it’s either a one or a zero. Or it’s black or white; there are no shades of grey. But what we know isn’t like that. We can know something intellectually (in our heads), but that’s totally different to knowing something in our hearts and bones (embodied understanding).
I now knew that patrol leader was a troubled child himself, copying his dad. I was now sure he was doing to me what his dad had done to him. That’s became clearer and clearer, especially after Bob’s story. That’s how deep we have to take things for them to sink in.
That’s another way of looking at the depth of knowledge. It comes from within us, like with the girl who could return to dance class with a level of conviction and understanding; there were no two ways about it, she was going back to dance class.
How we get to that is through coaching our kids. I don’t mean with lots of technique, but through questions, stories and sharing our own vulnerabilities. That’s what’s worked for me.
As adults, we’re often afraid to share our vulnerabilities or what’s gone wrong in life, or how we feel. That’s the starting point. If you’re a parent, you’re leading your child. Leaders go first and leaders share. How much you share comes down to your preference.
I am not a parenting coach and I’m not going to tell you how to parent your child. That’s up to you, and it’s your business. My wife and I don’t have children for medical reasons, so I’m not going to tell you how to parent your kids. I want to guide you in how to figure out how to inspire kids to make their dreams come true, make them happy, make them confident and bully-proof.
My job is the best in the world and I’d love to hear from you! Visit the Simon Benn website. Chat me up with no obligation or commitment.
If Your Child is Being Bullied, There’s Help
I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as we’ve enjoyed bringing it to you. If you’ve gotten anything out of this, please do tell someone else how they can subscribe to the Brand Builders TV channel. And don’t forget there’s a treasure trove of wisdom, support and accountability waiting for you in the Brand Builders Club, where inspired, motivated entrepreneurs are waiting to hear about your business, to weigh on your challenges, and to get your advice as they move along their own journey. Join for a low monthly fee, with no obligation. We think you’ll want to stay, though.