Welcome back to this series on putting yourself first by learning to say NO to others and YES to yourself. In the first instalment, I Didn’t Know How to Say No with Fiona Dilston, we heard from Fiona, in her own words, about the first time she said NO and how that opened up a whole new world for her.
Fiona teaches us that we can learn to say NO elegantly, in order to go from busy YES person (who agrees to everything that everyone else wants) to successful professional and fulfilled human making a difference. When this happens, you’ll discover that you have plenty of time for yourself, with freedom to pursue your passions.
Maybe you’re a digital learner, and you’d like to view the entire video at From Scared to Successful (Part One) with Fiona Dilston. Or, if you’re more of a reader, just keep going. You’re going to read about an experience that taught Fiona about the importance of NO.
More About Fiona Dilston
Fiona Dilston is a Counsellor, Homeopath and EFT Practitioner who is trained in Seichem and Reiki. Her areas of specialty include traumatic life events, emotional eating, weight loss and mental, physical and emotional health.
Fiona treats all of her clients with the utmost compassion and encourages them to release the things that are keeping them from living their happiest lives. Contact Fiona Dilston today to schedule your free, no-obligation discovery call.
Now it's time to hand it over to Fiona. She's talking about putting yourself first, in her own words.
Called Out, Eyes Wide Open
After decades of people-pleasing and saying YES to everyone but myself, I stopped prioritising others. I’m really hoping that I won’t always be a people-pleaser just because I started that way. I hoped I’ve ditched it. But it’s there. It lurks. As a practitioner, I have to watch it.
Back in the day, I used to speed-read tarot cards, live on my business Facebook page. The sheer volume of “ME ME ME!” and shouts about “That didn’t pertain to me!” didn’t bother me. I had come to the realisation that these people were getting this for nothing.
I used to feel bad, but a woman called me out as a people-pleaser about four years ago, and that felt like a knife. I really felt it. There was something the matter with me. It was nasty. I am eternally grateful now. Because I now see that I can’t be all things to all people.
How a Festival Taught Me to Put Myself First
I was working a festival a few years ago, sitting with people and doing readings from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. A guy was camped next to me and he had everything really organised. Someone came up to him at 5 p.m. and said, “I really need healing.” He wanted a Reiki session.
The practitioner turned around and said NO. I looked at him and thought, he asked you and you said NO? The man must have read my reaction because he said, ”Possibly, all he needed out of that transaction was to be told NO.”
When I was a YES girl, boundaries were dubious. In a setting like a big festival, boundaries need to be put in place. Everyone at that festival did that, except for the people-pleasers, who had no energy left for ourselves at the end of that long day. We had just enough to stagger into the lower field, grab a coffee and go home to shower and get to bed.
I have a plethora of stories about times I’ve shot myself in the foot; the times I’ve been far too nice for my own good; times I’ve held myself back; said NO to myself in order to say YES to somebody else.
Think about that one. Saying NO to yourself in order to say YES to someone else.How about saying YES to yourself for once?
Unworthiness creeps in. You need to say YES to yourself instead of saying YES YES YES to everyone else. We all need to push ourselves forward, as a priority.
Putting Yourself First, with Fiona’s Help
Fiona had a few eye-opening moments there, didn’t she? Not only did someone call her out for being a YES Girl, she witnessed the power and importance of NO right in front of her own eyes and ears.
Those are just a few examples of how our consciousness can be raised by just paying attention to what’s going on around us. Once we crawl out from under that rock, we know the rock’s there, right? You can crawl back under, but you’ll always know it’s there.
This YES pattern was Fiona’s rock. She saw it, chose to acknowledge it, and now she’s conquering it head-on. And the greatest thing of all? She’s teaching us to do the same in the final instalment of this series, The Danger in Being a Yes Man or Woman. You’ve come this far with Fiona. Don’t stop now.
Have you been thinking about joining the Brand Builders Club? But you’ve been telling yourself NO because you have too many other obligations? If those obligations have been made to others, and they’re not forwarding your brand, then now is the time to say NO to that and YES to the Brand Builders Club. With a LITE membership, there’s no long-term obligation. You have nothing to lose except all of that YES weight.