Welcome! You have landed on article three in a series of articles about moving up the emotional scale. In this, the final instalment, Philippa Bennett is talking about the stages of grief—but she’s not stopping there. She’s also giving us a valuable exercise that can be used to rise up from any negative emotion involving others.
As with all Brand Builders TV article series, this one has been taken from a Brand Builders TV episode. If you prefer to watch, listen and learn, simply hit play on the video below (From Grief to Gratitude Part 2, How to Move up the Emotional Scale). Apart from that, just keep on reading!
Get to know Philippa Bennett
Whenever someone mentions a life and mindfulness coach who uses heavy metal music to increase confidence and joy, your mind should turn to Philippa Bennett. Through her platform, The Mindfulness Moshpit, Philippa is working with people to increase motivation, turn pain into positivity and find happiness.
Now, let’s read what she has to say about the stages of grief, in her own words.
Learn it, model it and get shit done. Let’s go!
The Five Stages of Grief
Most people have heard about the five stages of grief.
Denial, the first stage, is not on the emotional scale. When you first get the news, you may feel unable to comprehend what’s happened.
Anger is number 17 on the emotional scale. That’s fairly low down, but not at the bottom.
This is the most vulnerable stage of grief. If you’ve lost a relationship, you might be begging and promising to change. You might think about what-ifs and wonder what you could have done differently.
After my father committed suicide, I said, “If only I’d seen the signs. If only I’d done something or said something.” This is a very tough stage, but it’s important to know that you have no control over anyone else’s life or emotions.
This one is at the bottom of the emotional scale. You may be surprised to learn that as you move through the stages of grief, you’re moving down the emotional scale. You might expect that time heals and you’d move up. But that’s not how it works…and actually, time doesn’t heal—but energy work does.
I don’t think acceptance is the best word for describing the final stage of grief. I think a better word might be resignation because you believe there’s nothing more you can do. That doesn’t mean you come out of the grief process. Instead, it’s where you start to do the work to clear that grief. If you don’t do that work and move up the emotional scale, you may end up a jilted, angry person.
Past Trauma and Grief
There are four areas of life that people tend to struggle with. Those areas are Health, Relationships, Livelihood and Finance. Trouble in any of these areas could be related to past trauma or grief that’s not been dealt with. It could also be due to the fact that regular energy work is not being done.
In my first Brand Builders TV episode, I asked people to rate themselves in each area, on a scale of 1 to 10. Some people rated themselves as a 9 for health, which is really great. In the Livelihood and Finance areas, most people rated themselves about a 6, which is kind of middle-of-the-road and fairly low, really (We’d all like a bit more money, I think).
Now, if you’d like to choose an area of your life that you think could use some energetic work, please do so. Maybe it’s your financial situation. Maybe a relationship with a co-worker, spouse or parent is causing you trouble Maybe they’re not behaving in a way that you’d like them to.
Now really think about that situation and how you feel. Whose fault is it about the way you feel? Who is to blame for the way you feel about it?
Maybe you’re feeling angry or frustrated. Whose fault is that?
Is it your fault for having that feeling or not doing the energy work? Do you think it’s the other person’s fault, because they’re making you feel those negative emotions?
Just have a think about that, how you feel, and whom you blame for the way you’re feeling. If there is a negative emotion at play, we usually think there’s someone to blame (even if it’s ourselves). There’s usually a reason we think it’s happening to us.
Who’s Fault is it? An Exercise
Now for that exercise. You’ve got that person whom you think is to blame (yourself or someone else). Now sit quietly, where you know you won’t be disturbed. Take some deep breaths to settle the mind. Allow your mind to calm. Take a few more deep breaths until you feel relaxed and comfortable.
In your mind’s eye, think about someone who brings up feelings of love. It could be a friend, a pet, a celebrity…even a material object.
Mind that feeling of love for a minute. This will raise your vibration. Sit with that for a bit.
Very quickly, change the person in your mind’s eye to the person you’re blaming. And with all that love you’ve still got inside you, blast the person you’re blaming with those loving feelings. With that blamed person in your mind’s eye, say, “I forgive you.”
This can be tricky for some people. In fact, the first time you try it, you might be feeling a bit of resentment—not too positive about it. But I guarantee if you practice it on a regular basis—it might take five times, or five times a day for a month—you will start to feel a shift in energy toward this person.
Moving Through the Stages of Grief
We can’t move up the emotional scale until we feel forgiveness for the things we think people have made us feel. Because feelings, energy and emotions come from within us, not from outside us. It can be difficult to forgive, and to get over the hump where we’re saying they’re not worthy of our love and then giving them unconditional love anyway. That’s really what going to take us from the bottom of the emotional scale to the top (eventually).
Once you’ve completed that exercise, ask yourself if it has improved your feelings for the person you blame (again, yourself or someone else). Remember it can be very difficult to do, but I suggest you repeat as many times as necessary to feel love for the person you blame.
I have had trouble taking myself through this exercise, particularly in the area of past relationships that hadn’t worked out as I’d wished they would. But it really does work. When you go through that exercise, you should feel your energy moving up the emotional scale.
A Better Understanding of the Stages of Grief
Do you have a better grasp on the stages of grief? Why they’re important and how to move up the emotional scale to get through them?
This article series from Philippa Bennett will undoubtedly prove invaluable to people who are struggling to free themselves from grief and sadness. If you know someone who’s having a tough time right now, maybe forward the links to them—it could be just what they need to feel joy again.
And speaking of helping people, have you ever thought about how you could change the world, just by being the person you are right now? That’s the foundational concept of the One Drop Movement and RippleFest Quest. Click on those links now, to get an idea of how the world can be different if you stand up and contribute your One Drop.